


Tsumi

by figbash



Series: InuKai [5]
Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Frustration, Lack of Communication, M/M, Protective Older Brothers, Puberty, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-26
Packaged: 2018-02-04 02:12:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1762641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/figbash/pseuds/figbash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trouble in InuKai paradise! And apparently Hazue is the Ultimate Shotakon Dream of perverted males ages 14-55... ^_^; InuKai, and HazuKai too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Tsumi" = Sin

**~Inui~**

Inui was about to knock on the front door of the small palace which Kaidou called a home, when it was flung open by Kaidou himself.

"Ittekimasu," he bit out to whoever was behind him, not looking back. His hand yanked hard at the knob to slam the door, but a small hand caught it.

"Itterasshai, Niisan," said Hazue pleasantly, peering out at them from behind the door, Kaidou in miniature. His eyes flicked over to Inui. With just the slightest decrease in enthusiasm, the tiniest little reminder of his dislike, Hazue said, "Konnichiwa, Inui-san." Then he disappeared into the darkness of the house, and the door closed with the barest click.

Inui liked him immensely. It was unfortunate that Kaidou's little brother did not feel the same about him. He wanted to be liked by all of Kaidou's family, not necessarily because it gave him easier access to Kaidou's bedroom, but because he was genuinely fond of them all.

Inui supposed he derived some sort of vicarious enjoyment from the tightly-knit family... _A mother in an apron standing at the kitchen counter, making onigiri with quick well-practiced motions of her hands. Her house is beautiful, and she is too. Somehow she makes both seem effortless. A father in his suit and tie, smelling warmly of cologne. He kisses the mother and pats the sons on their heads, glad to come home to them all after his day at the office._ These were the images that Inui remembered of Kaidou's family. He was always welcome there now. They called him "Sadaharu-kun" and they adored him. Except for Hazue. Hazue called him "Inui-san" and was always dropping hints that he did not adore him in the least. Inui found it cute that Hazue was putting up such a fight. Kaidou's brother didn't know who he was up against.

 

**~Kaidou~**

"Senpai. Sorry to keep you waiting," said Kaidou, a little more gruff than usual.

"I just arrived, actually... Shall we set off for the park, then?"

"Ah." Kaidou didn't want to look at him. He knew Inui was assessing his state of mind. He could feel his gaze on him, but Kaidou steadfastly refused to acknowledge it. If they could only make it to the park, he could swallow up the stupid anger that making his jaw clench, channel that adrenaline into his training. Hazue was just so fucking...

"Is something wrong, Kaidou?"

"It's nothing."

"Hmm."

He hated knowing that Inui's brain was working hard at figuring out exactly what "nothing" meant. He hated how Inui just couldn't leave things alone, badgering him somehow, even though he wasn't saying anything. Kaidou felt tight all over. His head began a dull ache. Inui was walking next to him, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, not even looking at him. Still he was driving Kaidou crazy.

"My brother... he was nagging me about something stupid."

"Oh?" Now Inui was looking at him, attentive. Like some freaking psychiatrist.

"Everyone thinks he's a little angel, but they don't know his other side."

"He seems determined to make me know he doesn't like me very much."

"Really?" Kaidou was genuinely surprised. They'd had one of their rare arguments that morning, indirectly about Inui, Kaidou realized now. Hazue had implied that Kaidou was going out too much, that he'd irresponsibly missed several family dinners, and why would he be so selfish as to forget to call and make their parents worry? Hazue always phrased things so impeccably, Kaidou could never argue properly with him, which just caused his temper to flare. It was maddening trying to argue with someone so calm and collected. He'd ended up storming out just as Inui had arrived on his doorstep.

"Did you know he always serves me lukewarm tea whenever he brings in the tray from your mom?"

"But mine is always hot..." Was Hazue doing things behind his back? Kaidou hadn't realized his little brother could be so sneaky.

"That's the thing, he must put ice in mine before he brings it in. And not enough ice so that it's actually cold, but just enough so that it's room-temperature."

"I'll talk to him about it." A side of Kaidou was offended by Hazue's lack of respect. They'd both been raised so well, but he wondered if his younger brother was losing his values in the chaos of modern Japanese pop culture. Another side of Kaidou was worried. What was making Hazue lash out like that? It was very unlike him, and did that mean something was wrong...?

"There's no need to make a fuss about it," Inui told him, chuckling. "I find it rather adorable that he'd think to do a thing like that. Perhaps I've unintentionally angered him somehow."

"He shouldn't think he can get away with something like that. My parents have already spoiled him enough."

"It might make it more difficult for him to get along with me if he gets in trouble for it, don't you think?"

"That might be true..." admitted Kaidou, cheeks a tiny bit flushed. It was silly, and he felt really stupid even thinking it, but he _did_ want Hazue to like Inui-senpai...

"Let's leave it alone for now. I have a feeling he might be changing his opinion of me soon."

"Why do you say that?"

"Ah, we're here."

Maybe Inui-senpai hadn't heard him.

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue watched Inui through the eyehole as he left with Kaidou. Inui didn't waste any time putting a hand on Kaidou's shoulder, but Kaidou was angry and didn't respond to him. Hazue smiled a little. Would things turn sour between Inui-san and Niisan? It was Inui-san's fault for being all possessive like that. Then a pang of guilt hit him. It was wrong to wish ill upon Niisan. He'd probably be sad if Inui-san wasn't around anymore.

Hazue hugged his arms, leaning back against the door. He wished he could fill that gap somehow, so that Niisan would realize he didn't really need Inui-san. If only _I_ was the older one, thought Hazue, I could guide him better.

 

**~Inui~**

Inui had done quite a bit of data-gathering in the neighborhood park. Some days he'd taken sunny walks through it, soaking in all the activity around him, weights strapped to his ankles underneath his pants. It wasn't quite training on the sly, but it amused Inui be a little secretive, an unassuming bystander.

There had been other days, later on, when he'd come here to watch Kaidou. A solitary person like Inui himself was, Kaidou would isolate himself in a secluded portion of the park, and set to work with the utmost seriousness on doubling whatever training menu Inui had written up for the week. It had been quite touching the first time Inui had seen Kaidou do this. Unfortunately Inui's thrilling campaign of voyeurism had to be ceased when Kaidou noticed he'd run into Inui twice during one of his jogs. Fond memories, regardless.

Inui found another sort of enjoyment in training with Kaidou. They worked naturally well together. With anyone else, they both would have found a partner intrusive, but with each other they didn't mind so much. Inui kinda enjoyed the tease of Kaidou's body when they stretched together. Kaidou was lovely when the passion was in his eyes, unaware of anything but the goal ahead of him. Sometimes Inui was driven to distraction, but that was fine too.

 

**~Kaidou~**

Kaidou didn't mind training with Inui-senpai because he gave excellent advice, and was always ready -perhaps a little eager- to spot him, if needed. He'd help Kaidou perfect himself because he understood that constant drive for something more, something better. There was something so pure about physical exertion. Kaidou would work just a little past his breaking point so that he improved himself by tiny increments each time. It was serious business. Companionship had nothing to do with it.

...

And what if companionship had something to do with it? Hazue didn't have any business judging him either way. If he wanted to go have dinner at Inui-senpai's place, he should be able to do so without his little brother suggesting that he just might be tearing the family apart. When had Hazue gotten so dramatic? He'd even cried that one time, and so the next day Kaidou had taken him to the movies and that had seemed to fix things but now Hazue was being rude to Inui-senpai behind his back which made Kaidou mad and worried at the same time and it seemed like a movie wasn't going to fix things this time so _what the hell did his brother want from him?!_

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue wandered through the house. There was a newspaper on the coffee table in the living room, but he put it down after a few minutes, not finding interest in any of the stories. He looked out the window. Hazue pulled off his socks as he slid open the glass door that led to the backyard. The soles of his feet stepped pleasantly across sun-warmed stones.

"What are you planting, Okaasan?"

His mother smiled up at him from beneath her sun bonnet. "Oh, just a little weeding. It's good to get rid of them before their roots get too deep."

"Yes, I suppose it would be," answered Hazue, cryptic.

"What are _you_ up to, looking so glum?"

"I look glum? I didn't realize."

Hozumi laughed. " _Hazue!_ What in the world is wrong?"

"Maybe it's just an off-day."

His mother looked at him like she didn't believe him, and Hazue couldn't blame her. She didn't nag him about it, though. "It might help if you get some fresh air. You could go see if your brother and Sadaharu-kun are still at the park?"

"Hmm," said Hazue, before he skulked away. He could feel that his mother wanted to say something else to him, but she resisted. She returned to her weeding with a sigh as he stepped back into the house.

Upstairs, Hazue walked past the open door of his parents' room. His father's gaze was transfixed on the enormous plasma television mounted on one wall. A baseball game. Hazue didn't care too much for baseball, or tennis, for that matter. Shibuki was grumbling to himself, upset over some sort of play they were showing again in slow motion.

"Did you know, Hazue, that America is slowly sucking up all of our baseball talent?" demanded Shibuki, still staring at the screen.

Hazue jumped a little, returning to the doorway he'd just walked past. He didn't realize his father had seen him. "Ah, I hadn't noticed, Otousan..." He started to walk away again, but Shibuki continued.

"It's damn sneaky, if you ask me. We're supposed to be proud of them making a name for themselves over there, but meanwhile they get replaced with idiots like this!" His father shook his head in disgust.

"I wouldn't want to leave my family, just to go to America to play sports."

"That's a good boy," nodded his father, but for a moment Hazue thought he was talking to the tv. At last his father turned away from the screen. Commercial break. "A man should have pride in his country."

"Yes indeed, Otousan."

"You don't have to pretend you agree with me."

Hazue leaned his head against the door frame, smiling a little, amused. "I'm sorry Otousan, I think my national pride just isn't as fervent as yours."

"No shame in it. There's such a thing as being too fervent. Just look at that brother of yours with his tennis and his jogging and all that. He's probably out doing one or the other right now, isn't he?"

"Perhaps. He left with Inui-san this morning."

"That Sadaharu's a good kid. Now _he'd_ play a good game of baseball. A pitcher... or maybe a catcher..."

Hazue cringed, but Shibuki's attention had drifted back to the game as the commercial break ended.

Down the hall, Hazue pushed his own door open. He owned a healthy collection of books, 2 rows deep on the floor to ceiling bookshelves at either side of his entertainment center. For awhile he stood at each shelf, scanning the spines for the few he hadn't yet read. At last he chose a novel, one that he'd read before but of which he was particularly fond. Hazue curled up on his sofa chair, letting his legs dangle over the arm. He realized belatedly that he'd forgotten his socks by the sliding glass door downstairs. He'd pick them up a little later.

It was 15 minutes before Hazue realized he'd been reading words without digesting what they meant. Clutching his book to his chest, he stepped out of his room again. At the end of the hall he turned the knob to Kaidou's room. Hazue stopped in front of the expanse of mirror in the corner, where his brother's weight bench was, looking at his face. It _was_ kind of glum. Okaasan had been right. Turning away, Hazue put his book on the floor, not wanting to touch the pristine glass table which never had fingerprints on it. He lay down on Kaidou's couch, pressing his face to one of the cushions.

Did Inui-san _love_ Niisan? Were they _in love?_ If Niisan was a girl would Inui-san marry him when they got older?

Then a thought occurred to Hazue. Was Niisan... the "Girl"?! How did those things work, anyway? There was the pitcher and the- Nonono... One guy was the "Girl" and one guy was the "Boy" right? Did they switch it up every once and awhile for variety? Hazue looked up to his brother. Niisan was strong and masculine and cool, he'd never let himself be the "Girl," would he?? And yet somehow Hazue couldn't really see Inui-san in that role either.

There was alot he didn't know about this. Hazue decided he needed some new reading material on the subject. And if he just happened to run into Niisan and Inui-san on his way to the bookstore, then that was just fate, and Hazue couldn't help that.

 

**~Inui~**

And so it was that Hazue contemplated his Niisan, and his Niisan contemplated him, and they were both troubled. Inui saw this quite clearly, his role in causing the rift between the two brothers. And he had an idea as to why Hazue had decided so readily to hate him...

Kaidou and Hazue were... 3 years apart? If they were this close now, they'd probably been extremely close when they were younger. Inui thought about chibi-Kaidou and chibi-Hazue... taking baths together, running around in shortpants playing imaginary games with each other, slipping into Kaidou's futon and whispering stories to each other far past their bedtime. And perhaps, just perhaps, in the darkness of Kaidou's room... an innocent brushing of matching boyish lips... Was it wrong for Inui to let himself think slashy thoughts? Was it completely evil of him to wander into Kaidou x Kaidou land, and to like what he saw?

Such kink. Inui smiled like a pervert, and it was kinda funny, because that was exactly what Hazue had said he was.

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue took the scenic route to the bookstore. There was a bus which would have taken him almost to the very doorstep of the shop, but it was a nice day, and Hazue didn't mind the walk. Neither did Hazue mind a roundabout detour through the park, not looking for Niisan and Inui-san. (Whom he didn't find, by the way.)

Hazue went to this particular bookstore often enough for several of the clerks to know him. He was somewhat concerned by this, considering the nature of his mission today. It had the best selection, however. Hazue took a breath before entering.

It was calm and cool inside. Hazue's sneakers barely made a sound as he walked along the carpeted aisles, on his pervert's quest. Where would they keep "those" kinds of books anyway? Sociology? The ever-ambiguous "Special Interest"? ..."Ecchi"...?

The Ecchi section wasn't really labeled as such, rather it was discreetly tucked away on the second floor. There were the usual volumes upon volumes of photobooks of AV models: in bikinis, in kimono, in sailor fuku... there were a few where it looked like the girl was dressed like a boy... What was _that_ all about? Hazue walked slowly past them, not quite having the nerve to stop, much less pick up a book and actually look at it.

He found himself in the Literature section several aisles away. Mishima Yukio, Japan's treasured homosexual writer. _Confessions of a Mask._ Hazue had read that one before. It was gay, but freaky sorta S+M gay, and hadn't Mishima himself and his lover died by seppuku? ...Maybe that wasn't quite what he was looking for.  Saikaku Ihara. _Nanshoku Okagami_ (The Great Mirror of Male Love). That sounded kinda interesting. Hazue opened the book, careful to hold it in such a way that his hands obscured the title. The 17th century Japanese was prettier than the much more modern Mishima, but the stories all seemed to be about samurai, priests, or oyaji screwing boys around Hazue's age. That was kinda gross. He'd never want to be an acolyte to some old wrinkly priest. Someone around maybe Niisan's age wouldn't be so bad, though...

Hazue's face began to burn. He shouldn't have been thinking of his brother like that.

"Are you lost, little boy?" rasped a kindly little obaasan, shorter than Hazue. She put a shaky hand on his shoulder and spoke to him as though she were imparting secret knowledge from the world of adults. "You wouldn't like anything up here. They're for old people like me!"

_The ecchi ones too, granny?_ thought Hazue acidly. "Oh, I must have lost my way. Thank you very much, obaasan." He bowed. Behind his back, he pushed _Nanshoku Okagami_ back into its spot on the shelf. Hazue turned to the stairs, slipping behind the man who was browsing further down the aisle, hoping he hadn't caught sight of the book Hazue had been flipping through. The obaasan smiled after him, probably charmed by his good manners. Hazue was used to it. Sometimes, it seemed like being adorable was a curse rather than a blessing.

Downstairs, Hazue tried the Sociology section. What he really needed was the basics. None of that flowery romanticized man-boy love stuff. First Hazue pulled out _Hiro-kun wa Otousan O-futari Iru!_ In the cover illustration a cheerful little boy clutched the hand of either father, a little upside-down "U" for each eye, such was his happiness in having gay dads. Yeah right. What the hell kind of book was this? Hazue read the blurb on the strip of paper wrapped around the cover. "Loosely adapted" from some American book? Hazue didn't think things were quite the same over in Japan.

Next Hazue found one with an intriging title: _Gay Style._ His eyes shifted to the left, then the right. The coast was clear. Now where was that freaking obaasan? Hazue looked around, then spotted her near the front, at the cashier. Perfect. Gliding over to the comic weeklies, Hazue grabbed a copy of a Shonen Jump shuukan. The psychotic, grinning face of Monkey D. Luffy shielded the world from Hazue's secret reading selection as he ascended the stairs to the second floor again.

The Travel section seemed to be the safest, less-frequented section. Hazue stood in the middle of the row. Even if someone walked by, they'd be too far away to see what he was reading. Indeed, he was being brilliantly discreet. Hazue opened to the table of contents. Hmm... "First Love"... "Shower"...? Was there some sort of technique to a "gay" shower...? Did they have to... wash themselves differently? In different places? "One Night Lover"... That sounded rather sordid. Maybe he should skip that chapter. "Male Body"... It seemed like a good place to start for the basics. Hazue turned to the section.

Before his eyes, spread across two pages, was a crisply-reproduced black and white photo of two utterly naked male bodies entwined in some sort of obscene embrace. Hazue's hands nearly went limp and dropped the book. He slammed it closed with a sound louder than he would have liked. _Ack, not good, not good..._ Hazue breathed deeply, calming himself. On the back cover, the description called the book a "photo essay," noting that it was "chotto ecchi". Hazue made a face. Porn masquerading as a Sociology book?! He looked down at it, his fingers slipping into the pages. Quickly he opened the book to another picture and then closed it again. That one had shown one body bent over the other, kinda like animals or something. It looked uncomfortable. _One more,_ thought Hazue, _and then I'll put this filth back where it belongs..._ He opened to a rather beautiful picture, a kiss between two men, their faces going out of frame so that you could only see their interlocked tongues. A hand was reaching down into the darkness where their bodies were pressed together. Oh. The one guy was touching the other guy's...

"That's very clever of you, hiding up here with that." It was the man from before, who'd been down the aisle from him in the Literature section.

"Eh? Ah, e-eto...." Any sort of smooth, polite thing Hazue could've said simply slipped out of his head. Luffy was back shielding the cover of "Gay Style" but it was too late. Hazue wished he had some sort of gomu-gomu power to escape his embarassment. His cheeks blushed a brilliant pink.

"You've been looking at some interesting reading selections," the man leaned in, pushing aside the Shonen Jump shuukan. "Do you like looking at that?"

"N-no sir... I'm doing... a report for school...." Hazue looked away shamefully, wishing desperately to disappear from the face of the Earth.

"How old are you, boy?"

"Eleven."

"You're very cute." The man was looming over him now. "But I don't think you're doing a report. Why don't you come play with Oniisan and I'll buy you some comics instead? Hmm?"

"I have to go home!" Hazue said, turning quickly away.

"If you want to know about the things in that book..." The man's hand slid across Hazue's bottom. "Don't be shy..."

Hazue jumped. He turned and swiftly kneed the man in the crotch. "Ah, please don't touch me, sir. Sometimes I'm very clumsy and accidentally knock into perverted men. Sumimasen!" He left the man groaning on the floor, escaping downstairs.

Back in the Sociology section, Hazue sighed. He was just way too adorable for his own good. And he should put _Gay Style_ back. But he was still curious. He kinda wanted to see more of the pictures... Hazue browsed the spines, and after a few minutes he found _Queer Studies: Thought Frontier._ Maybe he could get both _Queer Studies_ and _Gay Style?_ Certainly having these two books would give him some expertise in the area. And he should probably leave before that man recovered from Hazue's attack and tried to follow him home.

Ok, it was time to be brave. Hazue set his books on the cashier's counter, the Shonen Jump shuukan on top.

"Hello Hazue-kun, how are you today?" One of the younger clerks, a college girl, who was particulary fond of him.

Hazue tried his best to act normal, like he wasn't buying books with "Queer" and "Gay" in their titles. "I'm doing very well, thank you."

"You're so cute, Hazue-kun. Always reading so many books. I bet you're the top in your class!"

Hazue watched her scan the books without even looking at them, smiling at him. Being adorable had its advantages too, he supposed. "Well, I try my best..." he answered modestly, placing a crisp bill on the counter.

"Waa, so cute! I wish you were _my_ little brother!" the girl gushed. Her manager gave her a look, and then the cashier cleared her throat and tried to return to her proper self.

"Arigato gozaimashita!" chimed the girl, and then winking she added, "Hazue-kun."

Hazue bowed a little, returning the girl's smile, then made his getaway with his pervert's loot.

 

**~Kaidou~**

Kaidou's body was feeling a nice buzz as he jogged alongside Inui, just a little ahead of him. They'd been jogging together for a while now since they'd left the park, and Kaidou was wondering which of them would slow down first. Which of them had more stamina? Kaidou glanced back at Inui, but he couldn't detect any signs of exhaustion. There was even a strange smile on Inui-senpai's face.

"What's that look for?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's nothing... I was just... thinking of your brother," answered Inui between breaths.

"Why are you thinking of Hazue?" Kaidou gritted his teeth. Hazue was nosing into his business all kinds of ways.

"He fascinates me. His level of intelligence.... is quite impressive... for someone his age."

"So I've heard... Numerous times... From numerous people."

"And he really is adorable... the way he speaks so politely. All the obaasans... in the neighborhood must love-"

"You're going to fall off pace... if you talk too much." Kaidou's annoyance gave him more energy. He picked up his speed a bit and broke into a full run.

Inui matched him so that they were running shoulder to shoulder. Had Inui-senpai been holding back before...? "You're sensitive about him."

"It's always..." huffed Kaidou, slowing until his limbs swung loosely in a cool-down walk. There was a succession of hisses.

Inui stopped a few paces ahead, stooping with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. He looked over his shoulder. "It's always what?"

"Nothing," Kaidou answered, swiping at his face with a towel, shaking away the feeling that was trying to settle over him.

"Here." Suddenly Inui took his hand and was pulling him down towards the riverbank. Automatically Kaidou glanced around but there was no one else, just cars going past them. So he didn't pull his hand away. The grass was cool and just a little damp in the shade beneath the overpass. Kaidou closed his eyes, letting the breeze cool him off, calming him. He felt the back of Inui's hand on his cheek. Kaidou's eyes opened again, slightly moist.

"It's always been that way with him. People can't help but..."

"Coo over him?"

"Most of the time I can deal with being second, even though I'm the first son." He'd said it at last. He would always be second to Hazue. Kaidou couldn't remember the first time it had occurred to him, the first time he'd realized he was clearly inferior to his younger brother. He had never been as cute, would never give his parents as much pride, would never be as smart or as charming as Hazue. Everyone loved his brother, but people were scared of Kaidou.

 

**~Hazue~**

It must have happened when he was maybe 6 or 7. He'd been playing in the park with Niisan, but their ball had rolled away. Niisan hadn't thrown it hard, but Hazue's legs were small and he couldn't catch up with it until it had rolled a long way. Someone had picked it up for him, they were stooping down to hand it to him. Then the stranger was holding Hazue's hand, and they were going away somewhere, out of the park and away from Niisan. Hazue had dropped his ball. He'd had a vague sense that maybe he shouldn't be talking to strangers even if they were in the park, even if they were friendly and smiling like this man was. Hazue had turned back, thinking he would call out to Niisan, but Niisan was there already.

"What are you doing?!" Niisan had said angrily, running up to them.

"Oniichan..." Hazue's mouth had trembled a little. He'd thought Niisan was mad at him, but his brother's eyes were on the stranger. Niisan had come between them and he'd pushed Hazue back, away from the man.

"Don't touch him!" Hazue watched as Niisan kicked the man right in the naughty bits.  " _Kusojiji!!_ " Niisan was very strong. It must have hurt. 

Then Niisan was holding Hazue's hand and Hazue was sniffling. "I'm sorry Oniichan, I'm sorry!"

"Don't ever do that again!" Niisan had said.

He'd looked so mad, it made the tears well up in Hazue's eyes. "U-uuu~"

Niisan had squeezed his hand, looking so warm the way he smiled, Hazue's tears dried up. "I'll protect you, Hazue."

"You kicked him really hard, didn't you, Oniichan?"

"Mm," Niisan nodded, and Hazue had thought he'd looked noble and cool, like the Kamen Fighters on tv.

It made Hazue feel very nostalgic, looking back on the memory of his dashing rescue from the pervert in the park. Niisan had always been such a responsible older brother, looking after him all the time. Hazue tightened his grip on the bag from the bookstore. And now Hazue wanted to protect his Niisan from a pervert too. 

 

**~Inui~**

Inui stretched his legs out to their full length, leaning back on his arms. He thought of Kaidou practicing his swing down in the river before them. Inui had waded out to him and felt the ki emanating from Kaidou's body, like he was being drawn there without Kaidou doing anything, without even being aware of it, perhaps. How could someone with such obvious fervor and incredible devotion think so lowly of himself? Where was that nearly arrogant self-confidence he'd seen on the tennis court? Inui could have said all of that out loud, but that wasn't the way to talk to Kaidou. "He's not perfect, Kaidou," he chose to say instead.

"Close to it."

"It's harder for you to see his faults because you love him and you've grown to accept them."

"..." Kaidou's silence could have been quiet reflection or quietly stubborn disbelief, but Inui had faith he was making some headway.

"By the same token, it's harder for you to see your personal efforts as exceptional." Inui tickled his fingertips on the grass blades next to Kaidou. Then his fingers had traversed that narrow space between them and his hand was pressing warmly on top of Kaidou's, not insistent, just resting there.

Inui leaned over to Kaidou's ear, eyes downcast, a little modest for once. "I find you perfect in your imperfection."

Ah, Inui saw such conflict in Kaidou after he'd said that. Kaidou wanted to believe him. His face turned a little, and his eyes said, _Do you really think that, Senpai?_   It caught him off guard, and for a moment Inui couldn't breathe. That look overwhelmed him. Their noses brushed and then Inui kissed Kaidou's mouth, drawn to him again.

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue turned onto the sidewalk that ran along the river. This was another place Niisan liked to train, but he didn't see him or Inui-san here either. The water in the river was turning a pretty blood orange color as the sun was setting. Hazue sat down on the grass, watching the glow. His head turned suddenly at the sound of voices, and there, beneath the overpass, was Niisan and Inui-san. Hazue's mouth hardened. What were they doing down there? Resting?

He thought about walking down to the edge of the river, and then feigning surprise when Niisan called out to him. He thought too about throwing pebbles at Inui-san's head. But Hazue was also curious. He wanted to watch how they acted with one another when they thought they were alone.

Inui-san was getting closer and closer, touching Niisan more boldly than Hazue had seen him do before. His face was close to Niisan's ear, and then Niisan's face was turning, and Inui-san was leaning in, and then... and then... 

Hazue looked away. Seeing two boys kissing like that... his Niisan getting kissed by some boy like that... it made him feel really strange. His stomach was getting twisty, and he was sorta sad and sorta angry too... Hazue grabbed his books, turning quickly to go home.

 

**~Kaidou~**

" _Senpai..._ " breathed Kaidou, his lips slightly parted.

"I'm sorry." Inui went back to leaning on his arms again. "I know how you feel about public displays of affection."

"I..." began Kaidou, but he couldn't find any words but the one.

"But when you look at me with that face... I don't know what I might do." Inui's gaze held Kaidou, scaring him a little. Inui-senpai looked like he wanted to push him down into the grass and just fuck him right there. Kaidou's face was hot with embarassment.

"I don't believe that, any of it," said Kaidou. That wasn't what he'd meant, though. He'd wanted to say, _I don't know how to believe you._ But he couldn't say that out loud.

"Kaidou," sighed Inui. "I told you before that I would never look down on you. I meant what I said."

Kaidou stared at his sneakers, pressing together his lips which tasted faintly of Inui. What scared him most was how much Kaidou found that he needed him. He'd never wanted to rely on others, had even believed it was a sign of weakness, but an attachment had formed between them. There was something wonderful in this, even if it was indeed a weakness, but it hurt a little too. "Thank you... Senpai."

 

**~Hazue~**

_Queer Studies_ was a little dry, but that's what Hazue needed. Bare, dry facts. Hmm... so okama aren't necessarily gay, huh? Hazue compiled a long list of random facts as he flipped through the pages. He sat on his sofa chair, legs crossed, hunched over the book resting in his lap, absorbed.

After a time he heard the faint sound of the front door closing, and footsteps upstairs. The door to Niisan's bedroom opened and closed. Hazue slid a bookmark into the section he'd been reading and crept up to the wall. Both Niisan and Inui-san had deep voices, so sometimes he could hear them if he was very quiet.

Hazue thought about the pictures in his other book. He wondered if Niisan and Inui-san had done those very same things. He hadn't even thought of them kissing, but now he'd seen it, and it opened up floodgate of possibilities in Hazue's mind. For the first time he began to associate the idea of his brother with the idea of sex. The real thing, not just vague ideas of girls and boys, birds and bees. 

...Had Niisan had sex with Inui-san?

Hazue's eyes widened.

 

**~Inui~**

"Are you staying for dinner, Senpai?"

Kaidou had never, to Inui's recollection, actually asked him to stay for dinner. He'd been invited by Kaidou's mother, and Kaidou's father too, on several occasions. And his first dinner at the Kaidou household he'd basically invited himself to, Inui supposed.

"Are you asking me?" said Inui, studying Kaidou in the mirror by the weight bench. Just once, he'd like to use that mirror for something other than "form-check." Inui knew there were androgenic hormones at work in his body, chemicals in his brain, making him a little crazy. Was that the part of him that wanted Kaidou to invite him to dinner instead of acting like it didn't matter either way? 

"It's fine if you don't want to." Kaidou was toweling away sweat that still clung to his body. His skin would probably taste both tangy and salty.

"I'll stay but only if you want me to." _Do you want me to? Does it make any difference to you whether I'm here or not?_

"You should take a shower before dinner's ready, then."

"Ah. Thanks." Inui's heart sank. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for. Acknowledgement, perhaps? Something that he didn't have to initiate, something he didn't have to coerce Kaidou into doing? 

Inui set his glasses on the edge of the sink, discarding his clothes and stepping into the shower.

For some reason Kaidou didn't have to be coerced into letting Momo hump him in the clubhouse the other day, did he? Inui wasn't really jealous that Momo had some sort of dire need to screw Kaidou, and he wouldn't have minded if they had done so. But there was something in the way Kaidou interacted with Momo, the way he just let loose with him, that made Inui a little envious. Then he imagined Momo screwing Kaidou on the floor of the clubhouse, and that must have been his hormones calling again, so Inui answered them.

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue frowned at the ceiling with suspicion when he heard the water from the shower upstairs. _Inui-san better not be taking a shower with Niisan..._ He turned back to the plates he was setting. His mother was adding more ingredients to the nabe on the stove.

"It's as though I don't need to ask anymore, whether to set a place for Inui-san," commented Hazue.

"Sadaharu-kun's parents keep difficult hours, Hazue. He shouldn't have to eat by himself all the time," Hozumi turned away from the stove, wiping her hands on her apron. "Think if it was you."

"What is it that they do, anyway?" Hazue went over to the stove, his face hovering over the pot. The smell of Okaasan's homemade dashi filled his nostrils.

"You know, come to think of it, I haven't met them yet..." Hozumi looked thoughtful for a moment, a yuzu in hand for ponzu.

"Maybe he's an orphan."

" _Hazue!_ " His mother admonished him, but she smiled after a moment, shaking her head.

"You never know..." said Hazue as he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

He flipped on the tv, lying down along the full length of the sofa -almost, he wasn't quite tall enough yet. The shower water stopped upstairs, footsteps, talking, then someone was coming downstairs.

"Ah, Sadaharu-kun! Dinner willl be ready shortly!" said Okaasan brightly, poking her head into the living room.

"Thank you for letting me intrude so often," responded Inui, standing somewhere behind the sofa. He was probably bowing, because he was a kiss-ass, and Hazue's parents totally fell for it every freaking time.

"Oh, no no! I've told you before there's no need for all of that, Sadaharu-kun," giggled Hozumi, disappearing into the kitchen again. Hazue could've sworn Inui-san was flirting with his mother in some way he was not picking up on.

He decided not to move from his spot on the sofa. His eyes fixed on the mecha anime on tv, ignoring Inui's presence. The cushioning shifted a little, and he felt Inui leaning on the back of the sofa, watching the anime with him. Hazue made a face and switched the channel. Inui didn't move. Then Hazue switched the television off altogether. A single drop of water hit his back, and Hazue's body jerked from the coldness of it. Inui laughed quietly with an annoying little "Nfu" sound.  Hazue realized the sweet smell that was emanating from Inui-san was shampoo. _Hazue's_ shampoo. A few more drops of water on his back. At last Hazue sat up, and Inui seated himself next to him.

"Ojama shimasu ne, Hazue-kun," Inui teased.

Hazue crossed his arms, responding in emotionless keigo. "How peculiar that I didn't notice your presence there, Inui-san. _I'm_ the one to be excused. Please accept my heartfelt apologies."

"Not at all. I'm intruding upon your family dinner, and now I've inadvertently intruded upon your television-watching. _I'm_ the one that owes you a heartfelt apology."

Hazue gave an agitated sigh. He stared at the blank tv. Was Inui-san going to sit there and just stare at him until dinner? And then Hazue realized that this was the same thing he'd done to Inui-san when he'd come to dinner the first time. Was Inui-san doing this intentionally?! It made him furious, to think that a trick was being played on him like that. He wasn't just some easily-fooled little kid. _Kaidou Hazue wo namecha ikemasen yo!!_ Hazue decided to fight back.

"I was having a lovely walk a little earlier. The river's very pretty when the sun begins to set, don't you think, Inui-san?" Hazue eyed him slyly. _I saw you down there by the river. Slobbering all over Niisan in public like that! Didn't think anyone saw you, did you?_

"Do you mean to say, Hazue-kun," Inui responded in mock shock. "that you were _spying_ on your elder brother and myself this afternoon? Forgive me, but that seems rather unlike you."

"I was thinking to myself that I might unburden my mind with what I saw to my mother," threatened Hazue casually, casting his eyes thoughtfully around the room and then returning to Inui. _I'm gonna tell my mom so you'd better get down on your knees and beg me not to!_

"Again, I must ask that you forgive me, Hazue-kun... but it's unlike you to be so unperceptive."

"Whatever could you mean?" _What the fuck are you talking about?!_

"Ah, now you're simply toying with me. Surely you've realized that your wonderful mother has been aware of the relationship between myself and your brother for quite some time now."

"If indeed you're not mistaken, how might you have come upon such a conclusion?" _That's bullshit, why the hell would you think that?!_

"Mothers are often particularly keen to many sorts of things which happen in their households. Would you disagree?"

"...I suppose so." _Fuck no, I don't believe it._

 

**~Inui~**

He could see that this new knowledge was blowing Hazue's mind. The poor boy... it was as though he'd just found out his dear Okaasan had aligned herself with the Devil. Inui knew this lapse in defense was the time to really start talking to Hazue, to break through that wall of keigo. "You know, Hazue-kun... I've never heard of anyone being keigoed to death before."

"I couldn't imagine what you'd be referring to, Inui-san," Hazue responded. Keigo again.

Inui sighed. _Stubborn... like your brother._ He tried again. "You're lucky, you know. You get to see a side of him I'll never see."

"Doubtless, you've seen every bit of him there is to see," said Hazue cattily, quirking an eyebrow.

"Let's not be crass... Does the idea of me having feelings for him make you uncomfortable?"

Hazue frowned at him, childish all of the sudden. "Why should I care if you want to be _gay_ with him? It he wants to be a pervert, that's his business."

"It's obvious that you care for him very much. Enough to feel the need to protect him from me. Don't you think it's important to consider his happiness, though?"

"I don't see how he could be happy with a person like _you._ "

"I'm not so bad, really."

"I don't like you."

"Your brother does."

"Niisan... gets tricked pretty easily."

Inui had to laugh at that. "You mean he's naive. I suppose you could call it that. He's a straightforward person. He sees something, then he acts on it. I think it's a very pure way of living." Inui looked away, wistful. "Then there's that shy, sensitive part of him at the very core, deep down beneath the tough exterior." _The part that always draws me in, catches me off guard. An unknown variable in the data._

Hazue's face had changed when Inui looked back at him. "No one knows about that part. They think he's mean and scary, but there are so many layers to him..." His eyes had gone a little distant, but they focused again. "That's why he shouldn't be with just anyone. Someone sneaky like you."

Inui was madly taking notes in his head. _Absolute adoration from younger brother. Incredible slash potential._ "I wonder, Hazue-kun, could it be that you're simply jealous?"

Hazue was a clever boy, and he didn't give much pause before he answered, "Don't be stupid." Nevertheless the pause was there, and Inui noted that too. "He's my _brother._ "

Inui shrugged. "It must have slipped my mind."

 

**~Hazue~**

"What are you, some kind of shotakon?" Hazue pulled his knees up to his chest, not caring if Inui saw his discomfort. He was getting extremely irked by this line of questioning.

Inui laughed a little at him, and Hazue wanted to wring his neck. "I hate to disappoint you, but I'm afraid that your brother and I..."

Inui-san trailed off. Hazue turned to look at him, and then he caught sight of Niisan.

"Dinner's almost ready," Kaidou said, in a way which could have meant that he'd overheard the entire conversation, but perhaps not.

"I know," said Hazue, looking down at his socks.

"Did you help Kaasan set the table?" Ok, maybe he hadn't overheard anything. Or maybe Niisan was just dense. Perhaps the latter.

"Of course," Hazue answered, a disinterested look on his face. He cocked his head to the side, studying his socks in minute detail. "I'm never quite sure whether to set a place for you nowadays. How fortunate you were able to join us for dinner tonight, Niisan."

Hazue couldn't help himself. He was still a little mad at his brother.

"Stop it, Hazue," responded Kaidou in a low voice. It looked like they were both still angry at each other, unable to help the friction between them.

"I apologize, Niisan. I must have forgotten we once again have company." Hazue got up and left the room .

 

**~Inui~**

The weird vibes were in full force tonight. As Inui chatted with the Kaidou parents over nabe, the Kaidou brothers were sitting in weighted silence at the other end of the table. It was interesting to watch. They went through staring sessions, where it seemed almost as though they were having arguments with their eyes. Something was passing between them. Inui wished he could peek into their heads and see exactly what was going on.

Then amazingly, like a miracle, Kaidou was smiling a little. After a moment Hazue was smiling too, looking down into his bowl of nabe. Kaidou poured some more ponzu into Hazue's saucer.

"Here," said Kaidou, voice soft.

"Thank you, Niisan," said Hazue, brattiness evaporated.

It was almost too sweet. Suddenly it seemed like everything was ok between Kaidou and Hazue. They'd made up somehow without words. Such was the magic of their mother's homemade ponzu, perhaps. 

After dinner Hazue even resisted giving Inui a dirty look when he went upstairs with Kaidou. Alas, even the delicious food of Kaidou Hozumi was not enough to give Kaidou a Clue when it came to Inui's heartache.

Most of the time he was fine with the way things were. Maybe his impending graduation was just making him anxious. It wasn't the end of the world. They'd still be able to see each other. The year after that Kaidou would graduate too, and maybe he'd go to Inui's school. Inui wondered if Kaidou had thought about that. Probably not.

"Is there something wrong, Senpai?"

"Mmm... I'm sorry, I must have slipped into some sort of brooding self-reflection," Inui answered wryly.

"You're training too hard."

"That must be it. I should relax a bit, shouldn't I?"

"You've told me before about overdoing it. Keeping a balance is the wisest way."

"Do you think I'm wise, Kaidou?"

The question embarassed him. "Well... you know... you're..." Kaidou coughed. "...much smarter than me."

"I don't know if that's true, but that's very flattering for you to say." And it was. Kaidou didn't readily give out compliments.

"Hm..." Kaidou answered uncomfortably, looking away.

"I make plenty of mistakes, though."

"Mistakes are ok. It's how you learn, and grow."

"And I do plenty of unwise things... Like this afternoon."

"I told you it was fine. No one saw."

Inui smiled. _Would it kill him if he knew?_ "It would be unwise of me to kiss you now, wouldn't it?"

Kaidou's hands clenched where they lay on his thighs. Inui leaned in.

"...Something like that would lead to other unwise things, and with your parents and your brother in the house, no less. What would little Hazue think?"

Kaidou looked at him. It seemed as though he wasn't sure if Inui was serious or not. Inui wasn't sure either, but he was getting closer and closer, his body was getting warmer. He liked the urgency of a furtive act, the idea of Kaidou muffling himself in a pillow, both of them a little fearful of being caught but not quite able to stop. Inui had several fantasies along those lines. The position of his body was beginning to overwhelm Kaidou's, poised over him a little. Inui spoke to him in a low voice.

"I'd like to have you under the trees in a bed of cherry blossoms.... I imagine the petals sticking to your sweaty skin... your legs, your arms, in your hair... in the folds of your kimono. You'd be embarassed because you didn't like wearing it, you feel awkward the way the kimono restricts your movement... The way I can just pull the fabric away, loosen the obi wound tight around your hips..." Inui's fingers crept along Kaidou's hip bones.

"Stop."

"Mm?"

"Don't do that. Don't talk like that."

"Y-You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that. But you can't stay over," Kaidou sat up straight again. "I need to talk with Hazue."

Sometimes Inui wondered whether Kaidou was made of iron. His will was, at least. It took Inui a little time to realize that when he got Kaidou to do something naughty, there was always a tiny part of Kaidou that wanted to do it too, otherwise he couldn't be coerced into it. Inui sighed, doubting his mighty powers of seduction just a little.

 

**~Kaidou~**

He couldn't figure out why Inui-senpai was being so ecchi recently... Kaidou was accustomed to a certain level of innuendo from him, but this was just excessive. It was almost like it wasn't really about ecchi at all. Maybe that thing that had happened with Momo in the clubhouse had really bothered Inui-senpai after all. As if he would _ever,_ with that idiot!

Kaidou was getting fired up just thinking about it. He hissed. Now that Inui-senpai had left, it was time to talk with Hazue. And there was no need to be thinking about the libido of monkeys who thought they could play tennis.

He knocked on Hazue's door.

"Y-Yes?" came the answer from within.

"It's me. I'm coming in."

He saw Hazue quickly close the book he'd been looking at, shoving it under the chair he was sitting in with his foot. "Dozo," said Hazue, calmly.

"Were you studying?"

"No... I was, ah, reading..."

"You have more books everytime I come in here." Kaidou smiled gently, looking at the floor. _You become something even more unsurpassable, everytime I turn to look._ "You should go outdoors more often."

"I took a walk to the bookstore today." Hazue, in his turn, looked at the floor as well.

The scene was like that for several long moments, either brother waiting for the other to talk, or move. Kaidou's toes twitched a little on the hardwood floor. It was silent except for the faint sound of the television in their parents' room.

"Would you like to sit down?" asked Hazue, in polite deference to his elder sibling.

"I'm sorry," Kaidou said suddenly. It was best to get it out right away. The injury to his pride was perhaps a little easier to bear.

"You don't have to apologize, Niisan..."

"You should never think that I don't care... about you," Kaidou continued awkwardly.

"I love you too, Niisan."

Kaidou nodded. "Well, then..." He turned to escape all of those weird, embarassing fuzzy feelings that were floating around the room, but Hazue's sock-feet caught up to him. Kaidou felt his brother's face against his back, slender arms tight around his middle.

" _Niisan..._ " mumbled Hazue. "I'm sorry."

"Hazue." Kaidou touched the smaller pair of hands. This was something he was good at. Being strong for Hazue.

 

**~Hazue~**

It had felt so good to hug Niisan like that, Hazue almost forgot he'd been studying near-porn when his brother had knocked on his door. When Kaidou left he sat in his sofa chair again, body warm. Niisan was so sweet and tender and big and strong... Hazue slid sideways, sighing. His fingers groped under the chair until he found the place where he'd shoved _Gay Style._

He was learning lots of things from this book. More than _Queer Studies,_ which was now hidden deep in one of his bookshelves. When he looked at the pictures he wondered which would be Inui-san and which would be Niisan. Surely Niisan wouldn't let Inui-san push him down like that, Inui-san pressed against his back, Niisan on his hands and knees... It was just... It was just so primitive! Hazue squirmed a little. Thinking about it made him feel funny.

The next page was even stranger. He could see lips, but he couldn't discern the other shapes. There was tiny, stylized katakana in one corner. _Fera._ Hazue gasped. Fellatio?! That icky, infamous thing that boys whispered about in the schoolyard when the adults weren't around. When he'd first heard about it, he couldn't believe girls did that to guys... but guys did it to guys too?!

Hazue stared at the photo. It looked like there was white icing dripping off the chin. His fingers went to his lips. Come. What did it feel like, to have someone come in your mouth? How did you do it without choking? ...What did it taste like? Hazue bit his bottom lip. He closed the book. That was enough for tonight.

And after he'd taken his bath, and brushed his teeth, Hazue slipped under the cover of his futon and thought about fera some more. It was keeping him awake. He flipped this way and that, but he couldn't get comfortable. His nightshirt twisted with his body and left his tummy bare. At last Hazue's fingers crept into his boxers, and he sighed into his pillow. He'd never really gotten this kind of urge before, but now it wouldn't let him sleep, so Hazue gave in. He imagined what it would be like to have fera, lips and tongue sucking at him in the most obscene kiss, swallowing his white icing come. "Haa," Hazue breathed, fingers wet.

It was in calligraphy class the next day when Hazue realized. He was making the last stroke of his flawless "Tsumi" and suddenly his hand faltered. There was a streak of ink marring the entire page. 

He realized it had been Niisan's mouth he'd been thinking of.

 

**~Inui~**

He was agitated. This was agitation he was feeling. His hormones were just having their way with him now, making him agitated about something this silly. He was amazed, frankly.

Kaidou had rejected him before. You could even say their entire relationship was built on rejection. It had stunned Inui the first time, in the river. Kaidou's deep-voiced "kotowaru" had echoed in his head, sent him reeling as he stood with his pants rolled way up, a senpai abasing himself for the love of a kouhai.

Ah, well, maybe that was "concern" not "love." Love was not a word Inui liked using. It didn't carry the right feeling. What he felt for Kaidou was too weird and fantastic to be labeled with such a common word. Yes.

Inui's ardor had always been enough for him to press on when Kaidou pushed him away. He needed encouragement in these sorts of matters, and Inui understood that. He also understood that sometimes when Kaidou said "no" he really meant "yes," but it was the times when Kaidou said nothing that bothered Inui.

His dissatisfaction was apparent. Subtle increase in blood pressure, decrease in appetite. It might become difficult to maintain his current strength-to-weight ratio if this trend continued. He turned to his current project for comfort. 

Inui ground protein-rich dried beetles with his mortar and pestle, then blended the powder with paprika. This was a new innovation, harnessing the highly nutritional content of edible insects. He wet a finger and dipped it into the mixture to taste it. Hmm, super spicy with a background of something that was almost like apple. Success. He jotted the combination down in his book. It should have been an exciting moment, but Inui's heart just wasn't in it.

At least there was the calming solitude before the first-years came in for their chemistry class. Inui had obtained permission to use the facilities from the teacher last week, but now he had a different appreciation for the privilege. Suddenly his eyes caught the reflection of the doorway in the window-glass. It was Kaidou. Had he been watching him?

"Good afternoon, Senpai."

"Ya, Kaidou," greeted Inui, voice normal, but not turning to look at him. He listened to the shuffle of Kaidou's school shoes as they walked over. Then Kaidou was standing next to him, not too close but not too far away either, perhaps wanting to say something but not knowing what. Inui wondered if Kaidou would stand there indefinitely if he didn't initiate a conversation. The thought made him weary. _Just talk to me, Kaidou._

"It's dark in here." Kaidou's fingers fiddling with the smoothly-finished edge of the lab table. He was too respectful to venture to touch the mysterious ingredients Inui was working with.

"It helps me focus." Inui put a funnel into an empty jar and poured in the beetle-paprika.

"...You'll hurt your eyes." There was a note of tenderness in Kaidou's voice which made Inui turn his head a little.

"It's fine. I don't do it all the time." With a marker he wrote "B.P." on a label and smoothed it onto the side of the jar.

"Still."

Finally Inui turned to look at him. "You seem very concerned." Inui could almost feel the things Kaidou wanted to say, but he decided that wasn't quite enough this time. Sometimes he wanted to hear things rather than feel them.

"I guess... it's none of my business..." Kaidou eyed the B.P. jar, his shyness increasing exponentially. "But it seems like you're-"

The lights flicked on and Horio's shrill voice cut through Inui's head. "GAH!! Inui-senpai, Kaidou-senpai! What are you doing here in the dark?! You're gonna scare somebody to death!!"

Inui closed his eyes to quell that sudden urge for violence against the young uni-browed one. After a moment he opened them again. Katsuo stood a little behind Horio, looking worried, and next to him Kachiro was sort of timidly flustered, as though he thought they'd interrupted some sort of romantic chem-lab liason...

"You're too goddamn noisy!!" snapped Kaidou, and the first-years cowered visibly. He turned to Inui, and in a quieter voice, he said, "See you at practice, Senpai."

Inui nodded and attempted to smile, but when Kaidou left the room he drooped onto the tabletop, head in his arms. He was beyond agitation and dissatisfaction now, out of the gates and into the land of self-pity.

"I-Inui-senpai... are you sick...? You don't look so well..."

 

**~Kaidou~**

"Trouble in paradise, huh?"

Kaidou froze mid-swing. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Momo folded his arms behind his head. "Oh nothing... I'm not supposed to know about you guys, right? Forget I said anything."

Kaidou grunted in the affirmative, and they returned to practice volleys.

"It's just that, you know, it's noticable," said Momo after awhile, increasing the speed of the ball with his return.

"Are you going to talk or are you going to play??" Kaidou smacked the ball back even harder.

"Well, if something's distracting you, you can't really play your best, can you? Both of you." The ball was flying like a bullet back and forth across the net. It was getting hard to talk. 

Kaidou glanced over at Inui. He wished he was better at reading people. Strange how he'd found himself in the doorway of the chemistry lab, just standing there and watching Inui-senpai like an idiot. It had dawned on him that perhaps he'd been concerned without realizing he'd been concerned. The fact that he'd recognized Inui-senpai was a bit off since that past weekend and the fact that it had bothered Kaidou... perhaps that was concern.

Momo was watching him, and it really pissed him off that somehow Momo could tell what was going on better than he could. Kaidou figured monkeys had that sixth sense for sniffing out stuff like that.

They sat together on a bench, both more tired from their practice than they wanted to let on.  Kaidou drank water from his sports bottle and Momo drank Pocari Sweat, which Kaidou thought was silly, because everyone else drank water like sensible people. Except for Echizen. Maybe Momo and Echizen really were a good match. ...Better than him and Inui?

Who'd ever said he and Inui-senpai were "a match" anyway? They weren't "boyfriends" or "lovers" or a "couple." Kaidou almost died of embarassment even thinking of it. They were "together" or maybe... _involved._ Even that was almost too much. Kaidou actually squirmed a little. If he was this hopeless with the terminology, how was he supposed to have a clue about dealing with Inui-senpai?? 

"...There isn't much I can do..."

"Whaaat? Geez, I hope you aren't this fucking clueless in... Nevermind." Momo sighed, and Kaidou wondered what he was talking about. He supposed he should be offended by it, whatever it was. "Lemme give you some valuable advice, Mamushi. I'm sure you don't realize how much of a freak you are-"

"What the hell did you-"

"Hold on a second, I have a point! We all know Inui-senpai is a freak too, maybe even freakier than you..." Momo paused. " _Probably_ even freakier than you. But the thing is, you're different kinds of freaks. You have to build a 'bridge of understanding.'"

"That sounds like crap from some Ladies' magazine."

Momo looked flustered. "H-How would you know if you've never read them?!"

Kaidou blushed. "I obviously can't help reading the covers when my mom leaves them lying around, _baka!_ "

"Well then!"

"A-Anyway!"

"Yeah, anyway... the bridge is just a stupid metaphor, okay? You can't leave a guy high and dry like that, is all I'm saying. All that strong and silent bullshit, you gotta give it a rest." Momo nudged him.

"Don't touch me." Kaidou scooted away from him, not liking the teeny tiny almost not there tingle he felt. Had he developed some sort of Momo-complex after The Clubhouse Incident?

" _Oi._ " Momo leaned in with a frown, looking like he was going to start a fight. Or kiss him. "Don't mention it." Then he grinned and flashed him a V-sign, jumping up from the bench before Kaidou could respond. So Kaidou just kinda glared after him in thanks. Momo would know what he meant.

For a second, out of the corner of his eye, Kaidou could've sworn Echizen had been scrutinizing them from behind his can of Ponta.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**~Hazue~**

Hazue wondered if he'd released something terrible upon himself. He'd looked at that book too much, and now his body wouldn't leave him alone! It was from sheer force of will that he sat still in school all day. He wondered if he'd triggered some sort of premature puberty.

There was the shame of that, and then the shame of thinking about Niisan in such an inappropriate way. Even people whose minds were going crazy with puberty didn't think about _incest,_ did they? They thought about girls and getting peeks at them in the changing room at gym.

The girls in Hazue's class were all pretty in different ways. He could see how some of them were changing shape already, the little budding breasts and widening hips. Sometimes a boy would ask one of the girls out, and then they would be "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" and they would hold hands as they walked to school. Hazue had never done that, though. The girls were pretty, and they liked him, but he couldn't imagine "going out" with any of them. Maybe he needed to date an older girl, like Otousan had done with Okaasan... someone smart and pretty... maybe a little shy... someone who was mature, big and strong and... No, he was drifting back to Niisan again.

Yesterday he'd even had to shut himself in a stall in the bathroom to relieve all of those naughty thoughts that were building up while he sat still in class, and he'd closed his eyes and imagined it was Niisan's hands on him instead of his own. He'd breathed a quiet "Niisan" to himself as he shuddered, imagining how he'd lean into the muscles of Kaidou's chest, and Kaidou would kiss the top of his head like he still did sometimes, loving and protective. 

That was how Hazue wanted to be loved, and it must have meant Hazue was now a dirty stinking pervert. Even worse than Inui-san.

 

**~Inui~**

Inui was learning quite a bit about himself. He learned that he was petty, and he was a little cruel too. He could smile at Kaidou when Kaidou approached him after practice, and pretend not to know what he was talking about when Kaidou spoke to him roundabout rather than direct. Inui decided he was deaf to anything but direct. When he spoke to Kaidou it was brief and with a cool detachment.

He'd also discovered that, when he wanted to be, he could be even more stubborn than Kaidou. Inui held out for the week like that, being petty and stubborn and cruel, meeting Kaidou's confusion with counterfeit innocence.

There was an 80% chance that Kaidou would confront him today, because it was the end of the week, and Kaidou most likely wouldn't want to leave unfinished business. (Nor would he want to go without sex for another weekend, reasoned Inui slyly...) Another possibility was that Kaidou would hold out until after the weekend, because at last he'd realize Inui wasn't going to turn up sobbing on his doorstep. A third possibility was that Kaidou was inhuman and could remain chaste indefinitely, and he would wait with his infuriating passivity until Inui calmed down and the problem worked itself out. There was a 5% chance of that happening.

He was aware, suddenly, of Kaidou watching him again, worrying about him. Kaidou's head was turned a little, green eyes cast towards Inui, not quite on the floor. Beneath the chatter around them, the general disorder of boys changing clothes, Inui felt Kaidou acutely. There was an ache in his heart reminding him why he couldn't let it get to him. Was it all that petty, really? Inui's desire for an even reciprocation between them?

Inui moved deliberately, rebuttoning his polo after he'd taken it off and then folding it nicely before shoving it into his bag. He heard little bursts of "Otsukaresama" variations as the clubhouse emptied.

"I-nu-iii~!" sang Kikumaru, glomping him from behind. "Let's go out to eat~! We have Saturday off this week!"

Inui watched Kaidou pause, head turned a little more, listening. "Ah, I'll pass."

"Buu~ you're no fun!" Kikumaru squeezed him.

"I'll come next time, I promise," smiled Inui.

"'Yosh! It's a date, then!" Now that he'd extracted the promise, Kikumaru released Inui. "Aa!! That's mean, leaving without me!" he called after the others as he hurried out the door.

Inui sighed, smiling a little at the merriment that seemed so distant from him. He stood, slinging his bag over his shoulder, feeling the silent presence of Kaidou turning towards him. It was a 97% chance now. He was almost certain of it.

"Otsukaresama," murmured Inui.

Kaidou's sneakers took a step towards him.

"Ah, Senpai, could I-"

"Gomen, Kaidou... I've got something to do..."

"Why are you..." Kaidou began quietly. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Am I?" asked Inui, giving his voice a note of surprise.

"You're acting different all of the sudden..."

"How strange, I didn't notice," Inui said as lightly as he could, walking out the door. His disappointment weighed on him. Kaidou was still speaking evasively, still waiting for Inui to take the initiative. Why did it have to be so difficult?! Surely his collected data could give him some clue as to how to solve this. There were volumes of notebooks he'd have to look through... He cut across the lawn, eager to get to work at it.

He hadn't expected Kaidou to come after him. A hand caught the edge of his jacket.

"You're avoiding me," said Kaidou, firm this time.

Inui turned to him. "We see each other everyday."

"That's not what I mean."

"Then you should speak more directly."

Kaidou's eyes widened, and Inui knew he had hurt that delicate ego, brushed against it just a little. Then the anger darkened Kaidou's face.

"You should be more direct yourself. I don't like playing stupid games."

"It doesn't feel good when someone plays around with you, does it, Kaidou?" Inui couldn't help but respond.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Inui sighed, feeling his control of his temper slipping away but not really caring. "What the hell do you _think_ it means?"

The shock that crossed Kaidou's face was perhaps a little rewarding. It meant that Inui was reaching him.

"I'm not the one who's talking in these fucking riddles," Kaidou answered, anger rising.

"No, you're not talking at all," Inui shot back at him.

"I'm asking you right now-"

"You're not _saying_ anything. You're just expressing these vague notions of concern. You see a problem, but you're not seeking a solution, you just want it to go away."

"Don't assume things about me!"

"Isn't it so? Weren't you hoping this would all blow over and next week things would be back to normal?"

"Stop being so fucking ridiculous." Kaidou's eyes flashed with his temper, furious. "Why would you think that?!"

"That's how it always is, this 'do as you like' attitude of yours. You accept this affection from me, and when it doesn't suit you, you push me away."

"You're upset about last weekend," said Kaidou softly, in belated realization.

"No. No, you're _completely missing the point!_ " Inui's voice raised in his exasperation, much more emotional than he'd expected to be. "I don't want to pursue you and then be met with this wall of nothing. I shouldn't feel like you're simply tolerating this situation as some sort of idle distraction."

"Obviously I'm not."

"Well if it's so fucking obvious then I guess I'm just an idiot. I guess you're right, I really should shut my mouth and stop whining about these things. I should be grateful for an occasional fuck and not get greedy, right? Thanks, I really didn't know what the hell I was thinking-"

Kaidou's hand hit the side of his face with such force that his glasses fell into the grass at his feet.

" _Stop it,_ " whispered Kaidou. "Stop saying those horrible things."

Inui stooped and retrieved his glasses, brushing off the lenses. He put them back on and without another word turned and left.

 

**~Hazue~**

Hazue was lying motionless in his sofa chair, staring at the ceiling. He stretched backwards over the arm, lethargic, until his fingers brushed the floor. Then he sat up again, touching his stomach. No rippling abs, just soft flat boy-tummy. Hazue sighed. He poked at his belly-button. His fingers slipped lower and lower... But no! He wasn't going to do that. Well... not again. That would be the paramount of weakness.

 _Queer Studies_ said that half of all teenagers would have same-sex experiences at some point. So maybe everything was ok. Maybe Hazue was a early bloomer, and he'd get all of this weird stuff out of the way so he could be normal when he was officially teenage. Then he could return to his quest to disentangle his family from Inui-san's clutches.

Hazue yawned. All this premature puberty and dealing with perverts... it was too hectic for a gradeschooler. He crawled into his futon, deciding to take a nap before dinner.

Hazue lay with his hands folded on the coverlet, imagining Inui as an evil scientist... He'd live in one of those old castles up on a mountain, in Germany or someplace like that. One day he'd kidnap Niisan and bring him there against his will.

He imagined the scene... Niisan was chained up, all dirty and sweaty and grimy... And Inui-san fucked him whenever he pleased. Hazue liked the vulgarity of it, the word "fuck." So Inui-san fucked him in his evil mad-scientist way, absolutely _violated_ him, and he kept Niisan there so long that Niisan would start to like it just a little bit.

But all the while Hazue would have been tracking him down, and at last he'd burst through the castle doors and chop through Niisan's chains so he could whisk Niisan away with him. But not before a sword fight to the death. Inui-san would say, "If I can't have him, no one will!" and Hazue wouldn't say anything, he'd just raise his eyebrow, real dramatic, and then the fight would begin.

It would go back and forth for awhile, but then they'd start getting tired and Hazue would let his guard down and slash! The sword grazed his cheek. It would be silent except for the _dota-dota_ drops of Hazue's blood hitting the stone floor. Then Niisan would cry an anguished, " _Hazue!_ " but Hazue would hold up a hand to silence him, shaking his head. The fight wasn't over yet.

He'd lunge at Inui-san full-force, and Inui-san would be utterly surprised, because of course all his stupid mad-scientist books didn't have any data about Hazue's hidden strength. He'd stumble backwards against one of his experiment-tables and that's when Hazue's sword would find him with its deadly aim. "I was... I was sooo close... Curse you, Hazue~!" Inui-san would whimper, and then... Bleh. Dead.

Hazue grinned, turning on his side. He liked that one. He could be an author, or a mangaka when he grew up, perhaps. His eyes closed.

A door slammed down the hall. Hazue exhaled a long breath, stretching languidly, coming awake. He opened his eyes, looking towards his clock. It was late and he'd missed dinner. Okaasan had left him a covered dish on his table, because she was perfect and thought of everything.

He rose and stretched again, scratching at the small of his back beneath his shirt. Hazue crept over to the wall to listen for Inui-san's voice. He couldn't hear any voices at all, which meant that Niisan was alone, perhaps? Hazue made his way down the hall.

His hand reached up to knock on Kaidou's door, but he was suddenly timid. What if Niisan found out his secret? What if Inui-san really was there and he caught them in a compromising situation?? Hazue knocked very softly.

"Niisan... May I come in?"

"Aa," said Kaidou through the door.

Hazue turned the knob slowly and opened it. He was relieved to see no Inui there. Niisan was at his weight bench, making little grunty sounds as he lifted irons which Hazue wouldn't have been able to budge if he pushed with all his might. He stood next to the bench, watching his brother. It had never occurred to him before, but he realized that Niisan working out probably sounded a little like Niisan having sex. There was something a little erotic too about Kaidou watching himself in the mirror so intensely, making those sounds. It was like... It was like Niisan was jerking off with his eyes... Hazue's fingers rested on his mouth, hiding a smile.

At last he cleared his throat and spoke. "...You seem upset."

"Somewhat." Kaidou kept lifting his weights, rhythm steady.

"...Did you have a bad day?"

Kaidou's eyes shifted from the mirror to Hazue. "You might say that."

Hazue felt a shiver run through him, looking at that flushed and sweaty face. The longer strands of Niisan's hair were like wet tendrils against his cheeks. Niisan's breath rushing out as he pushed up on the weights, sucking in as the weights came down to his chest again. In and out, up and down... Hazue wondered if this was what Inui-san saw when he was... on top of Niisan.

"I didn't have such a good day either," Hazue admitted.

Kaidou finished his set, setting the weights on their hooks and then pulling himself up to a sitting position. He untied his bandana, swiping at his face with a towel.

"That's unusual," Kaidou said. Then he tensed. "Did something happen?"

Hazue tugged at the edge of his shirt a little. Niisan was so sweet and protective, and Hazue's bad day was all because of his perverted thoughts of him. He felt guilty. So very guilty.

"No, I think I just had an off-day. Nothing to be concerned about." _And nothing for me to be concerned about... right?_ "But what about you, did something happen?"

"Just... something stupid..." answered Kaidou in a half-mumble, going to sit on his couch. Hazue sat down next to him.

"Something having to do with... Inui-san?" Hazue pursued, perking up a little. "An argument?"

"...Yeah."

"He must have done something awful." Hazue imagined Inui-san taking advantage of Niisan in a deserted classroom. It was actually... a little arousing. Strange.

"No... but I... I felt _awful._ " Niisan's voice had softened, his dark, fine eyebrows drawing together in pain. "I think the things he was saying to me... were true."

"I couldn't imagine anything awful about you, Niisan," Hazue said, blushing a little as he looked up into his brother's face.

Kaidou smiled. "I know that's not true."

"I think when you love someone, you can love their less desirable parts too."

"He said something like that to me once, actually."

Hazue wanted to say, _Well maybe that means he doesn't really love you. Maybe it's better for you two to break up, afterall._ But Niisan was all soft and sensitive from fresh heartbreak.

 _Pliable,_ said a voice from somewhere in Hazue's head. _If you reached out and touched him now, he'd accept that touch readily._ Hazue didn't really believe the voice, but he reached out and touched him anyway, his hand resting on Kaidou's knee.

"Do you remember when I lost the cat?"

"Yes. I loved that cat."

"I think I let it go because I thought it would get bigger in the wild, and then I could ride on it."

"Like a tiger or something?" asked Kaidou with disbelief.

"Yes, I was watching alot of nature documentaries and somehow I got that idea."

Kaidou laughed a little. "As if Tokyo suburbs are an African jungle."

"Then Okaasan had to tell you that the cat was lost and you were really really upset. You were inconsolable."

"I thought it had gotten hit by a car."

"I felt so guilty. I thought you hated me." Hazue scooted closer, resting his head on Kaidou's shoulder.

"I could never hate you," Kaidou said warmly, patting Hazue's hair.

Hazue closed his eyes, loving the feel of Niisan's fingers, the comforting adultness of them. He smelled the sweat on Kaidou's skin, that undeniably male scent that was not at all unpleasant to Hazue. He wanted to... He wanted to flick out his tongue and see what it tasted like. "You wouldn't talk to me for a few days..."

"That doesn't mean I hated you. I was just upset."

Hazue's arm wrapped around Kaidou's chest. "...You really could never hate me?"

"Of course."

"Even if I turned into some evil criminal?"

"What are you talking about, Hazue?" Kaidou frowned, looking down into his face.

"Even if I was a vile, disgusting person?" Hazue's eyes looked up at him. "Some sort of... pervert?"

"I don't believe you could become any of those things," said Niisan firmly, seeming offended at the mere thought.

"But Niisan..." Hazue said, nuzzling into Kaidou's chest. "I'm _all_ of those things."

"That doesn't make sense. How are you a-"

" _Niisan..._ " Hazue climbed into his brother's lap, like he used to do when they were small, before things had turned all funny like this.

"Stop it Hazue..." Kaidou pushed at him, annoyed. "You're too old to do that."

Hazue shook his head, looking into his brother's eyes, trying to make him understand without having to say it. He put his hands on Kaidou's cheeks, leaning in so that their foreheads touched, Kaidou's messy bangs mingling with Hazue's neatly parted ones. Hazue kissed his brother's nose.

" _Hazu-_ " managed Kaidou incredulously, before Hazue's mouth covered his.

Hazue hoped he was doing it right. It felt all warm and wet and melty inside of Niisan's mouth. Hazue closed his eyes, feeling the first tingles run through his body.

"What the hell's gotten into you?!" Kaidou moved to stand but Hazue slid down further into his lap, slim little thighs straddling Kaidou's larger ones, the curve of his bottom just making contact. Kaidou's body twisted a little. Hazue's hands rested shyly on his chest.

"I... don't know..." His hands drifted lower, underneath the edge of Kaidou's shirt.

"Yes you do." Kaidou grabbed his wrists, firm but gentle. "Where did you learn this?"

" _Niisan..._ " Hazue tried to slip his hands out of Kaidou's grasp, slip himself away from his brother's questioning, but Kaidou was insistent. Instead Hazue pressed his hips to the firmness of Kaidou's stomach. "Ah..." His eyes slipped half shut in the rush of pleasure. Niisan's stomach was so warm and solid, and he was breathing a little differently now, kind of deeper and heavier. Was it him making Niisan do that? Hazue's cock stiffened against him. "Nn..." Again he pressed his hips into the smooth ridges of Kaidou's abdominal muscles.

There was shock on Kaidou's face, because now it was undeniable what Hazue was doing, the erection that was pushing warmly into his belly. His fingers released Hazue's wrists absently. Hazue's arms wrapped around his brother's neck, pressing his face to his shoulder, moaning a little. He had thought he'd had it all figured out, but now the feeling was taking over, and Hazue blindly ached for more sensation.

"Hazue... _stop it._ " Kaidou extracted himself from Hazue's arms. "You can't play around like that!"

"Are you angry, Niisan?" asked Hazue innocently, placing his open mouth against his brother's neck, sucking at it. Kaidou's hand was on Hazue's chest now, perhaps in protest, but it didn't push Hazue away. Maybe Niisan wasn't angry. Hazue let his bottom come into full contact with Kaidou's crotch. He felt the beginnings of arousal there, and blushed as he wondered how Kaidou might fuck him, how Niisan's big hands would grab him with a strange sort of tender urgency.

"H-Hazue... don't..." Hazue rolled his hips, feeling Kaidou grow harder beneath him, pressing against his ass with a pleasure which snaked up Hazue's spine and made him shudder.

"Stop me," challenged Hazue, like a misbehaving child. His hands were underneath Kaidou's shirt, and he emphasized his words with a caress of one of Kaidou's nipples. The most thrilling part might have been the shift of power between them. Niisan was nearly helpless now, big strong Niisan who Hazue admired and respected so much was letting Hazue do this to him. Hazue saw his brother's will bending with every movement of their bodies. He was making Niisan feel good and he felt good too.

Hazue lowered his head to Kaidou's chest. He rested his ear against it for a moment, hearing the quickening beat of Kaidou's heart, the pulse within that flowed with the same blood as his own. Gently he put his teeth to the pucker of a nipple, hearing his brother gasp his name. He loved the shapes of Niisan's muscles under the skin, all atuned to him now, trembling.

Hazue became hesistant again with what he wanted to do next. His fingers lingered on Kaidou's abs, considering. It was a little tricky, this thing he wanted to do, and he had to work up his nerve a little. Hazue bit his bottom lip, looking into Kaidou's face, making him acknowledge the both of them there together, their arousal, his own desire for Hazue. Then Hazue was reaching into Kaidou's shorts until the weight of Kaidou's cock was in his hand. He pulled at it a little.

"Hazue..." whispered Kaidou, chest heaving. "...what are you doing...?"

"Should I stop, Niisan? Do you want me to stop?" Hazue freed him from his shorts, touching the tip with feather-light fingers. He waited for an answer.

Kaidou gave him a stricken look, and Hazue smiled sweetly at him. At last Kaidou turned his face away. Shamefully, he shook his head no. Hazue watched his brother's eyes squeeze shut as he jerked him off there on the sofa. Kaidou's hips began to move beneath Hazue's thighs, pushing into Hazue's hand. Niisan's voice was like it had been that time he had heard him with Inui-san, strange and breathy with a little whine to it, begging for release. For Hazue to release him. Hazue smiled, because it was just what he wanted.

Then Niisan was louder and louder, and Hazue distantly wondered if their parents might hear them. Somehow he couldn't worry too much about it when Niisan's cock was in his hand, Niisan's body writhing and shivering underneath him, unresisting. Hazue took his hand away, sliding down the heat of Kaidou's lap and sinking to his knees on the floor in front of him. He lay his palms on Kaidou's thighs, spreading them, and the pink tip of his tongue touched Kaidou's cock. Hazue listened to his brother suck in his breath sharply.

"I promise I won't tell Inui-san," teased Hazue, before he took Kaidou wetly into his mouth. Hazue closed his eyes. Texture and taste were on his tongue, completely new and unfamiliar. Niisan filling his mouth, his tongue pressing against Niisan loosely, his fingers wrapping around him, holding Niisan's heartbeat in his hands. His own cock pressing into the sofa as he took him in a little deeper, the deepest he could go without triggering his gag reflex. Hazue pressed his tongue against that sensitive spot on the underside, the spot that would make Kaidou come if he teased it enough. Then he let Niisan slide out of his mouth. He was straddling Niisan's lap again.

" _Fuck me,_ " whispered Hazue, leaning in to Kaidou's ear.

Kaidou's eyes opened slowly, muddy. The words weren't making sense to him. Hazue took one of his brother's hands and pulled it to him, placing it on the curve of his ass. Then at last Kaidou's fingers were digging into him, pulling at Hazue's clothes until he found skin, pushing him into the sofa cushions.

"Fuck me..." said Hazue again, "I want you to, Oniichan..." He spread his legs, thinking of acolytes, feeling his brother's body above him, pressing into him... " _Oniichan, boku no naka ni..._ "

 

Hazue woke to an unpleasant wetness in his boxers, face sweaty. He rolled over, hand on his chest. Then his head turned to his side, afraid to find Niisan beside him, but he was alone in the fluffy expanse of his futon. A dream, then? _Yokatta..._

He sat up, clutching at his comforter, blushing furiously as he recounted what he remembered of his dream. Ilegal... immoral... indecent... Hazue imagined himself exiled in America, forced to play baseball or maybe even tennis as penance for his crime. The family name would be shamed for centuries. They'd have to change it and move out of Tokyo.

Had it really been a dream? It had seemed so real... Tentatively, Hazue touched a hand to his bottom. No tenderness... Hazue blushed harder... Surely if they'd... if Niisan had... he'd feel a little... 

There was a great shame, nonetheless. Hazue lay his arm across his eyes and moaned. Was he to drift forever in this sea of sin?!

Then in the silence he heard it, the unmistakable sound of Inui-san's voice in Niisan's room. Hazue went to the wall and listened, and then he heard another unmistakable sound.

 

**~Inui~**

Behind the broad assortment of books on Inui's shelves, on the very bottom row of the shelf in the corner, were several anonymous, unlabeled videos. Porn, Inui felt, was an important outlet for all sexually-mature and -maturing males alike. It relieved frustration of all sorts. If more males used porn as an outlet for their agression, he reasoned, there might be less violence and war in the world. It was simply healthy and natural to release pent-up sexual energy. 

Granted, the Japanese porn industry was a strange, mutated beast... Inui liked the relatively innocent stuff. Breasty bikini girls frolicking on the beach... naughty girls in sailor fuku... girls with short but wispy black hair and dark green eyes, tough but sensitive with full pretty lips, and bodies that were... perhaps a little boyish. Perhaps a little Kaidou-ish. 

Inui was hunched over at the edge of his bed in his darkened room, relieving his frustration in a manner that was both practical and efficient. His glasses reflected twin images of the debauchery onscreen. Those pretty full lips were doing fera, and it made him think of Kaidou and his melon ice. Kaidou with his eyes that were softer when it was just the two of them, squeezing shut in pleasure, mouth open. Inui's hand stilled and he exhaled a long breath. There had been anger in Kaidou's eyes when Inui had last seen them, though. His cheek still stung from the bruise he'd recieved earlier, after practice. He felt restless and unsatisfied, remembering that.

Tonight he'd decided to shut himself away in his room while his parents entertained dinner guests. Occasionally he heard their laughter drift down the hallway, the clink of wineglasses and silverware and china. He couldn't bring himself to join them, although he had on other occasions, delighting his parents' colleagues with his odd mix of brilliance and charm. Such an interesting combination of his mother and father, they often told him.

Then the doorbell rang. Inui sighed, rising from his bed and preparing his face to receive a late dinner guest with a polite smile. 

"I'll get it!" he called out to his parents in the dining room, padding down the hall to the entry way.

Inui opened the door, smiling already, but his greeting died on his lips. It was Kaidou.

 

**~Kaidou~**

Kaidou bowed deeply, keeping his head down as he spoke.

"I apologize for my conduct earlier today, Senpai. I have no excuse for my behavior. Please accept my apology."

He stayed in that deep bow, not daring to look up until Inui addressed him. His eyes fixed on the tiles of the apartment's entryway. He could see that there were many pairs of shoes crowding it. Inui's parents must have had company. Kaidou heard their voices drifting out from within the apartment, smelled the faintest hint of cologne and perfume. Then he heard footsteps from behind the half-open door.

"Who is it, Sadaharu?" A woman's voice. Deep, velvety... sort of sultry, actually.

"It's, ah... It's for me, Kaasan. Don't worry about it."

Kaidou blushed. This was a bad time. He was intruding. It was a stupid idea to come here. It was stupid of him to think he could just apologize after doing something so inexcusable. How the hell had he convinced himself to do this?!

"Stop that," said Inui at last. "Just look me in the eye. There's no need for that."

Kaidou rose from his bow and then he saw the bruise across Inui's cheek. He bowed again.

"Senpai... your cheek..."

"It's fine, it just stings a bit. Nothing horrible," Inui answered.

"I deeply apologize!"

"Stop it, Kaidou..." Inui said, irate. "You've already apologized. All is well. I'll see you on Monday..."

Kaidou's head snapped up. The door was closing, closing...

"Senpai! Wait..."

"Yes?"

"I wanted to... Are you..." Kaidou cleared his throat. "Are you free tonight?"

"My parents have company over, actually."

"Oh... I see," Kaidou answered, as calmly as he could manage.

The door was closing again.

"Senpai!!" blurted out Kaidou.

" _What is it?_ "

Inui-senpai sounded exasperated, once again acting unlike himself. That was a really bad sign, but Kaidou steeled himself and pushed on, anyway. He knew somehow if that door closed he'd regret it.

"Would you like to... come over to my house, instead?" His eyes could only meet Inui's for a moment, and then they fixed on the ground in his embarassment. He hoped he wouldn't have to say "spend the night" because that would kill him. As the silence stretched on, the anticipated rejection became clearer in his mind. Inui-senpai was going to say "No" wasn't he? Something cold and curt like, "I'd prefer it if you didn't speak to me again." Then the door would close and the lock would click with a doomed finality. Shutting Inui-senpai away from him forever.

"...Alright," said Inui, after a few moments.

"Eh?" Kaidou looked up. Then he nodded. "Aa."

"Wait just a minute, I'll be right back."

Maybe that had been the easy part. The silence that descended upon them as they walked was fraying Kaidou's nerves. The right words were supposed to appear in his head, weren't they? It was lilke being served a ball he couldn't return. It was failure in the worst way. Something Kaidou could not accept.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

"Just a casual dinner party with my parents' colleagues."

"I shouldn't have come at such an inconvenient time..."

"I believe this is the first time you've come to my place of your own volition."

"Really? But I've been there plenty of times."

"And on each such occasion I either took you there or invited you. Except today."

"I didn't realize."

"I know you didn't." 

"Senpai... I'm sorry."

"You don't need to keep apologizing."

He hated the coldness in Inui-senpai's voice. It was like the fire inside of him had suddenly gone out. They were almost like strangers now, and the idea of that terrified Kaidou.

"No... not just about that. I just... I don't mean to make you feel... like I take this for granted. This is important to me." Kaidou swallowed, clenching his fists. " _You..._ are... important to me."

He willed himself to look up into Inui's face, but he wasn't beside him. Kaidou turned and Inui was standing several paces behind. His heart sank. The wrong words. Kaidou approached him. _I don't know what you want,_ he thought in despair. _Please, please tell me... because I  can't stand this..._ The moisture in his eyes was blinding him, the shame of it was crushing him.

Then there was warmth. Inui-senpai's voice, his chest and his arms, his breath in Kaidou's hair. It was all warm again.

"Thank you... Kaidou," said Inui softly. 

Kaidou's arms were suddenly tight around Inui's back, Kaidou's fingers clutching his jacket so hard that they trembled, his face hidden.

 

**~Inui~**

They'd walked the rest of the way to Kaidou's house in a different kind of silence. Inui's cheeks were glowing, and every once and awhile he'd look down at Kaidou with a smile that wouldn't leave his lips. Shyly, Kaidou would return it. Their hands would brush, and Inui could feel Kaidou's ki again, quickening the beat of his heart.

There was no one on the ground floor of Kaidou's house, so the boys crept quietly up the stairs without interruption. The door to Kaidou's room slammed shut with Kaidou against it, his fingers fumbling with the lock as Inui pinned him there, kissing him. Their mouths opened and Inui's tongue pressed into Kaidou's mouth. He felt Kaidou's hands on his waist, pulling them closer, pulling Inui into the heat of his thighs.

"We haven't done this here before, have we?" asked Kaidou quietly. There was a brilliant blush across his cheeks but his fingers were lingering on Inui's belt buckle.

"No, we haven't," Inui answered, watching Kaidou's hands. Wondering.

Kaidou looked up at him. "Senpai."

"Mmm?" Inui was watching Kaidou's lips now. Imagining.

A tentative hand slid across the front of Inui's pants. Then Kaidou was standing on barefoot tiptoe, his tongue pressing into Inui's mouth, holding Inui's face in his hands. After a few moments he was finished with his kissing business and Inui watched him slip away. Kaidou unzipped his jacket, discarding it on the couch. He sat himself on the enclosed futon across the room. Then he gave Inui an expectant look.

 _Haaaaai~!_ sang Inui joyfully inside his head, cheeks flushing. He calmly removed his bag and unzipped his jacket, placing it on top of Kaidou's on the couch, resisting the urge to rip it off and let it land wherever he happened to toss it. 

Kaidou was waiting for him, sitting very upright and proper on his knees, as though he were about to perform a tea ceremony. Inui began to sit down too, but Kaidou stopped him.

"It's better..." Kaidou cleared his throat, his cheeks as flushed as Inui's. "It's better if you stand."

 _Oh? Ohhh..._ thought Inui in realization. His mouth slid into a slow grin.

"I haven't done this before," said Kaidou, with the utmost seriousness.

"Yes. Yes, I know," answered Inui, still grinning. _I know very well._ "But you have such lovely lips."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"It's alright. Just be careful. I trust you."

Inui watched Kaidou's fingers undo the buckle of his belt, pulling it from the belt loops and setting it off to the side. He closed his eyes. Unbuttoning, unzipping, pushing aside fabric and then a sensation that must have been one of the best in the world, Inui thought. The feel of Kaidou's tongue along the underside of his cock.

Inui opened his eyes, and it was a lovely sight too... Kaidou on his knees in front of him, eyes half-closed, a blush across his cheeks. The way the mouth opened just a little at first, the soft movements of Kaidou's tongue along the length of him, eyebrows drawn slightly in concentration. The mixture of shame and arousal on Kaidou's face as he at last took Inui into his mouth, full perfect lips sliding over the head and down the shaft.

"Nn..." Inui's fingers went into Kaidou's hair, cradling him, smoothing away the long black strands that had fallen into his face. He could feel the bob of Kaidou's head beneath his hands, watched his cock disappear into the heat of Kaidou's mouth, Kaidou's saliva running down his length. Inui took pleasure in every nuance of it. Another sort of apology from Kaidou.

"Ah..." breathed Inui, as Kaidou's tongue lingered on the ring just beneath the head, flicking across it gently, pressing against it. At last Kaidou's eyes opened and looked up at him. It nearly sent Inui over the edge, the idea of Kaidou doing fera and watching with his half-lidded green eyes, the knowledge that Kaidou would let him come inside his mouth. Inui's hips wanted to push forward, deep into him, filling him. And it would have been a beautiful sight to watch Kaidou close his eyes again, swallowing Inui's come down his throat, perhaps a few errant drops leaking lazily from those gorgeous lips. Inui would kiss them away, move his tongue over lips and chin and cheeks, tasting himself on Kaidou's skin. It was really a shame to stop, but Inui wanted something more. He took his glasses off, discarding them in a far corner of the tatami.

"Senpai?"

Inui sunk down to his knees on the futon next to Kaidou, his fingers twisting into the hair at the nape of Kaidou's neck, wet bruising kisses to Kaidou's mouth. They fell onto the mattress, pulling at each other's clothes, sucking at skin, frantic movements against each other's bodies. Kaidou's chest was bared to him, dusky nipples hard under Inui's mouth. He wanted to kiss every part of him. Inui slid further down Kaidou's body, his hands reaching under him to squeeze the muscles of Kaidou's ass as his teeth bit gently at Kaidou's hipbone. He heard a strangled "Ah," felt Kaidou's abs tense beneath his tongue. A hand tightened on Kaidou's ass as a finger brushed deeper, almost entering him. _Ah, I forgot the..._

"Senpai... The cabinet, in the bathroom..." responded Kaidou to the unasked question, breathing heavy.

Inui rose hastily, unlocking the door and striding down the hall. Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement, perhaps a pair of curious Kaidou-like eyes... but that wasn't important now. He'd retrieved the bottle and then he was back in Kaidou's room, locking the door and returning to Kaidou's bed.

Kneeling between his legs, Inui pulled off the remainder of their clothes, a slick finger pressing into Kaidou eagerly. He nipped at Kaidou's bottom lip, tongue darting inside his mouth as his fingers slid inside of Kaidou. They rolled to the side, Kaidou's thigh draped over Inui's. The fingers slid deeper and Kaidou moaned, pressing himself to Inui, moving against him.

 

**~Kaidou~**

Kaidou panted. Inui had him, absolutely. He was dying to be fucked, and now he would do anything for Inui to relieve that ache deep inside of fhim.

" _Ahh... Senpai..._ " Kaidou pressed against Inui harder. He found the bottle and then his slickened fingers smoothed along Inui's cock, thumb running across the slit.

"Mm... Wakatta, Kaidou..." Inui gave him a little smile, and then suddenly they'd shifted again.

Kaidou found himself on top, straddling Inui's thighs. "What...?"

"I thought we might try this..." murmured Inui, his hands squeezing Kaidou's thighs. "Come closer, towards my chest."

He moved, obedient, and then he felt Inui's cock against his ass. Kaidou reached back to touch it. He looked at Inui.

" _Yes... like that..._ " Inui breathed, fingers tightening on Kaidou's skin. " _Put it in..._ "

Kaidou guided him towards his entrance, closing his eyes as he lowered himself by degrees. He felt distinctly on display. Kaidou's sense of embarassment rose in him somewhere, but it was vague and faraway. The feel of Inui sliding into him, of Kaidou allowing Inui inside of him, seemed to blot out everything else.

When he was sheathed to the hilt, Inui sat up with Kaidou in his lap. Kaidou's arms went around his neck, liking that closeness, the smell of Inui-senpai's heated skin. His mouth found Inui's and kissed him hard.

" _Fuck me, Kaidou..._ " whispered Inui in his ear, making him shiver.

Slowly Kaidou rose and fell, taking in the feel of this new type of control, being penetrated in such a way. He thought he might like it a little. Kaidou's hand went to his own cock, fingers moving slickly along the length of it with the same rhythm as he fucked Inui. He realized that Inui-senpai was watching him with great fascination. Inui-senpai was watching him pleasure himself and perhaps he enjoyed that most of all, seeing Kaidou's face in a veil of lust, losing hold of his carefully-disciplined self and turning a bit more raw.

Then Kaidou was drawing closer, and Inui must have learned the little signs that Kaidou gave when he was nearing orgasm, because he shifted their positions again. Kaidou was on his back and Inui was pushing his knees up to his chest, driving into him deeply, breathing Kaidou's name over and over. In a few moments Kaidou's muscles went tense, fingers digging hard into Inui's back.

" _Inui-senpai... suki..._ " he breathed, a most private confession in the most private moment, his eyes squeezing shut as his head pressed back into the pillow.

Kaidou felt Inui's mouth on his neck, biting, kissing, sucking at it wetly. Then Inui's body went tense too, and he heard him moan softly, shuddering. Inui slid out of him but kept close, hands around Kaidou's waist. Kaidou liked that, the broadness of Inui's chest and Inui's hands pullling him so that Kaidou's back was against him. He lay still as Inui-senpai's fingers touched him everywhere, anywhere they pleased, little tingling trails of sensation on Kaidou's hyper-sensitive skin.

"Ore mo da," he heard Inui-senpai say softly, and then Kaidou was asleep.  
  
  
  
 **~Hazue~**

He'd heard them, he was sure of it. All that funny breathing, those were sex sounds! And he'd peeked out at Inui-san, taking something from the bathroom. Surely a sex thing. Hazue couldn't decide if he was mad or not, if he even deserved anger, after having his perverted dream about Niisan. And maybe Inui-san had been right. Maybe he was jealous. Damn him to hell!

So he had a brother-complex. That was what it boiled down to. He admired his niisan and looked to him for guidance, and now that sexuality had descended upon him, been awakened in him, he looked to Niisan for guidance in that too. Hazue wondered if other boys had sexy brothers that they had dreamed about screwing.

Hazue rolled his eyes. _Stop it. Stop it right now. You're going to turn into a pervert permanently if you keep this up. Just let it go..._

He crept down the hall towards the bathroom, but he stopped in front of Niisan's room. His ear pressed against the door, listening. Were they asleep? His hand went to the knob, but then he drew it away. _No... just go to the bathroom, splash your face, then go to bed. ...It's probably locked anyway..._

Then, to his absolute horror, he hear the door unlock and the knob was turning. Hazue froze. Inui-san was standing in the doorway, smiling slyly down at him. 

"You have an unseemly habit of spying on your brother, don't you, Hazue-kun?" Inui-san murmured.

Hazue had never seen him without his glasses, and it was a little scary for some reason. He was speechless. _How could he have-?!_

"You can come in, it's alright." Inui-san opened the door for him, beckoning him inside.

Hazue frowned up at him, suspicious. But his curiousity was much stronger. His sock-clad feet entered Niisan's room. He heard the door close and lock behind him, but he didn't look back at Inui-san. He was drawing closer to Niisan's bed, neck craning, intensely curious. Then he saw him. Niisan was sleeping soundly on his side, clutching the coverlet to his bare chest, perhaps completely bare underneath the coverlet. His hair was messy, sticking to his cheeks. He looked ravished and... pretty. Hazue swallowed.

"I couldn't blame you, really," Inui turned to the sleeping Kaidou. "He's very alluring, isn't he?"

Hazue twisted his hands together. "...I don't know."

"Maybe one day you'll grow up and be handsome like that, hmm?"

He frowned. Well I *am* adorable... Hazue watched Kaidou's parted lips, breathing gently in sleep. "...What's it like, kissing Niisan?"

"Why don't you try it yourself?"

"What?! I'm not a pervert like you."

"If you don't try it, you'll never know... Just once is ok."

Hazue considered it. "...What if Niisan wakes up?"

"I'll just tell him it was me."

"I don't... I don't want to."

"It's very confusing, what you feel for him, isn't it?"

"Mm," Hazue nodded shyly.

"You shouldn't feel ashamed, Hazue-kun. It's actually quite natural to have feelings like that, you know."

"That's not true!"

"Sometimes when people are at this stage, they think of their mother or their father like that. They project these new feelings onto them, because they don't know where to put them."

"But not brothers. They never think of brothers."

"Mmm... Well, it is more unusual... But I have a friend who did. But his little brother was a bit older than you are. I suppose you're just very mature, Hazue-kun."

"I don't like thinking about Niisan like this."

"It will go away eventually, you shouldn't worry. It's just how nature works sometimes." Inui smiled. "Like the way I care for your brother, and put up with the silly things he does."

"Like what?"

 

**~Inui~**

Inui pointed to the bruise across his cheek, and watched Hazue's eyes widen in shock. "Niisan did that??"

Inui nodded. "We had a fight after school, but all is well now." It sounded so simple when he put it like that. Ah, the suffering...

Hazue looked at his brother again. "He's very bad at talking sometimes."

"Yes, it's very irksome."

"But you're patient with him. That's good."

"I try to be."

"He talks to you more and more, doesn't he?"

"Yes, he has been. Very, very gradually."

"That means he likes you."

"I'm glad."

"...Do you like him?"

"Yes, very much."

"Well, it's not so perverted, if you like him... I guess." Hazue kneeled down next to Kaidou, looking into his face.

Inui supposed that was some sort of grudging Hazue-approval, and that he should accept it like the prize it was and treasure it. Hazue was on top of the bedcover, lying down next to Kaidou now, his cheek on Kaidou's bare arm. Inui went to his bag, found his digital camera, and returned to the futon without a sound.

"So does that mean I'm not a pervert anymore?" he asked, discreetly flicking the camera's on-switch.

"I didn't say that," yawned Hazue, snuggling closer to his brother. 

Inui framed the shot in the viewfinder, snapping the shutter. "Hmm."

Hazue's face drew closer, and then his lips pressed to Kaidou's, childish and half-asleep. Inui's camera snapped away. Yet another prize to be treasured. Life was good.

 

**~omake~**

"H-HAZUE?!?!" shrieked Kaidou, snatching the cover upto his chin.

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Niisan," said Hazue, stretching.

"Ohayo, Kaidou," said Inui, propping his head on an arm.

"What the hell are-"

"You don't remember, Niisan?" asked Hazue. He lowered his eyes demurely, giving Inui a sidelong look. "I don't think he remembers, Inui-san."

"Hmm, it would seem not." Inui returned the look, then eyed Kaidou.

"I slept very well."

"As did I."

"I'd never..." Hazue paused dramatically. "I'd never done that before. It didn't get too crowded?"

Kaidou's eyes flicked over to Hazue, mortified.

"Oh no, not at all. I was quite comfortable with the arrangement."

The eyes shifted to Inui accusingly.

Hazue turned his head on the pillow. "You were very kind, Inui-san. So gentle and understanding." He sighed wistfully at the ceiling.

"The pleasure was all mine."

Hazue laughed, rising from the bed and walking towards the door. "Mine too," he said, before he closed the door behind him.

Inui grinned. He was very fond of Hazue. Exceedingly fond. Such mischief they could make together. 

"Senpai," growled Kaidou. "Explain that. _Now._ " 

"Just kidding, just kidding!" Inui said, watching Kaidou's hands clench into fists, trying to calm him, palms raised placatingly. "He couldn't sleep so he came in here last night after you fell asleep."

"Hm," said Kaidou, body relaxing again.

"Interesting though, that you immediately assumed-"

And then Kaidou did something that caused Inui to make a very strange and very loud sound in his throat, ending his sentence quite prematurely. 

Hazue heard it through his wall and shook his head. That's what you got when you messed with Niisan.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The photobook with the AV model dressed as a boy... I was thinking of those "Shonen A" videos where an AV actresses dress as boys and basically act out yaoi. heh.
> 
> -Hiro-kun wa Otousan O-futari Iru! ["Hiro-kun has Two Daddies!"]... a parody of the Heather has Two Mommies book.
> 
> -Gay Style and Queer Studies: Thought Frontier... these are real books I found on Amazon Japan. Gay Style is actually called "chotto ecchi" in the book description. ^_^;;
> 
> -"Kaidou Hazue wo namecha ikemasen yo!!"... Hazue's more polite and proper version of Kaidou's rough-talk catchphrase, "Kaidou Kaoru namen ja nee!!" ["Don't look down on Kaidou Kaoru!!"]
> 
> -Otousan dating an older girl... I made a mistake in "Mamushi-ke" by writing Hozumi as being younger than Shibuki, when in fact she's 3 years older than him. I thought I'd write it correctly in this fic.
> 
> -"Oniichan, boku no naka ni..."... "Oniichan, inside me..." Hazue's smut-talk ^_~
> 
> -"Inui-senpai...suki..."... Kaidou's little declaration of love. Aww...
> 
> -"Ore mo da."... Inui returns his feelings. yay!


End file.
